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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend got a dog, ""Missy."" She messes inside a lot though, especially if I show too much attention to the dog."

"Did you her about the boy that was born without any eyelids? They used the foreskin from the circumcision to make them. I guess you could say he was a little cockeyed."

"A 22 year old girl said to me ""there's NO WAY you are 41"" I put her in my pocket and took her home. She's mine now."

"A friend of mine in law enforcement doesn't like The Clash. I guess you could say that sheriff don't like it."

"What's the best kind of alcohol for your liver? Nonanol."

"Funny teacher responses to ""Can I go to the bathroom?"" Forget the classic ""I don't know, can you?"""

"What did the beaver say when he fell in water? Damn it."

"I have a basic password for my online banking and a complicated one for twitter. Wouldn't want some hacker breaking in and posting bullshit."

"*holding your xray up to the light and looking at it* when did you first notice your back hurting? ""after the knife went in"""

"The biggest problem with prostitution as a career path... All the jobs are entry level"