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Joke of the Day

"A husband and his wife. ""honey I have a confession to make. I've been seeing a psychiatrist"" ""Thats's okay dear"" the wife replied. ""I've been seeing the pool man and our daughter's basketball coach"""

"Roses are brown Violets are brown Who took a shit in my garden?"

"Eight glasses of water a day? Nope. I do a minimum of sixteen. Keeps you looking young. Take me for example. I was born in 1926."

"Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is"

"""Eat the booty like groceries"" -Albert Einstein"

"How do you divide old Rome? Using a pair of Caesars."

"Girl, you're like a supermassive black hole... ...because you're incredibly dense, nothing is more attactive than you, and once you suck me in there's no going back."

"Why does the prosecutor only choose jurors who drive Hummers? So that there's no chance of a hung jury"

"Two candles wanted to get high... They lit up and got low instead. Happy 4/20!"

"How do spacemen pass the time on long trips ? They play astronauts and crosses !"