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Joke of the Day

"Girl, you're like a supermassive black hole... ...because you're incredibly dense, nothing is more attactive than you, and once you suck me in there's no going back."

"I got jury duty next week My duty is to convince the jury that I didn't do it."

"What kind of drink does a ghetto drinks? A GHETTOrade"

"Think my cat might be depressed. She just told me she's thinking about getting a cat."

"[tour of zoo] kid: ""i think its a elephant"" me: ""are you giving the tour"" kid: me: ""anyway as i was saying this is the big snake face thing"""

"Why was the fruit/vegetable hybrid upset? He was a melon-cauliflower."

"Kesha got a lip tattoo that says, 'Suck It.' I'd suggest you 'Disinfect It,' 'Fumigate It,' or better yet, 'Avoid It.'"

"Shout out to all the girls that got pregnant last night and don't know it yet"

"Why don't black girls wear underwear to cookouts? To keep the flies off the fried chicken."

"Can a ninja kill you from 20ft away? Sure he can."