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Joke of the Day

"Leaving someone a voice mail is the new Myspace message."

"When a soldier goes sentimental, his favorite band will be Guns'N'Roses."

"At first I didn't like my new haircut but it slowly grew on me."

"The Fortune Teller, came true! I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I fucked a girl called Penny - is that spooky or what?"

"I made a short joke today... It wasn't very funny."

"What do Asian people use as blindfolds? Shoe laces."

"How are we going to know when America is officially great again? Is there going to be a party, like on a giant ship, with a banner?"

"My dog thinks I collect small bags of poo"

"When you're at someone's house? Normal people: ""What a lovely house!"" Me: ""What's your wifi password?"""

"Some say the quickest way to mans heart is food. As an experienced heart surgeon, I disagree... It's sex."