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Joke of the Day

"I walked into a store today... ...and they were selling explosives disguised as prayer mats. I wasn't one to judge them; after all, they'd said prophets were going through the roof."

"what's the difference between a cow and 9/11? you can't milk a cow for 14 years"

"Two guys walk into a bar The first says, ""I'll have H2O."" The second said, ""I'll have H2O too."" He died."

"Whenever a bird shits on my car I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on front of my porch just to let them know what I am capable of"

"I wish behavior in football was acceptable in all jobs. Like if u clear a paper jam out of the printer you can stanky leg on your boss' desk"

"Why was 11 afraid of 12? Because 12 13 14!!!!! GET IT?!?!??! source: some comment on reddit I read like 6 months ago"

"I'm tired of all these farming tips. Let's face it, there's only one thing that makes you good at farming Step one: be a tractor Step two: don't be unnatractor"

"Why does the Pope always win at chess? He has so many Bishops!"

"Last year I took a visual design class... ...and our final exam was to design a fireworks display. I passed with flying colors."

"Someone sent me some wood, nails, a saw and a hammer in the post I don't know what to make of it"