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Joke of the Day

"The Clinton Foundation is like my ex-wife. They keep 94% of the money and still don't feed the kids."

"Manufacturing Landmines I started manufacturing Landmines in my basement thinking that it'd be cheaper than buying them, but it still cost me an arm and a leg"

"""If Trump wins I'm moving to Canada"" So people fleeing their country from political crisis isn't OK unless it's the USA..."

"PMS jokes aren't funny... Period."

"Ever heard of the 68 position? You go down on me now and I'll owe you one."

"I didn't realize how parenting had changed me until I was walking by my 7yo with an ice cream sandwich down my pants so he wouldn't see it"

"Donald Trump is the next President but... The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife."

"My wife ran away with my best friend. I haven't met him yet."

"Why do people hate babushka dolls? Because they are so full of themselves...."

"DR DOG: It says you're here for a blood test. First, some questions. Number one: over the last six months who's been a good boy?"