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Joke of the Day

"PMS jokes aren't funny... Period."

"What do you call Italian marijuana? A pizza joint"

"There once was a man from Nantucket... who didn't know what a limerick was."

"Boss: Why is there an olive in your water? Me: What water? Oh yeah this, this is definitely water."

"She hated my mixed-tape back in high school. Last month she gave birth to her ninth baby. Thanks for saving my life, Depeche Mode!"

"Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, ""Sorry, no professionals."

"I was practicing moves on a stripper pole, when all of a sudden I heard a loud ringing. Then 3 firemen fell from the sky and crushed me."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Doris. Doris who? Doris locked, that's why I'm knocking!"

"4-year-old: Can we have Oreos for dinner? Me: Are you crazy? That'd be terrible for you. 4: Mom's not home. Me: *eats Oreos for dinner*"

"After killing a spider I wrap the web around his neck and hang him from the wall to make it look like a suicide."