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Joke of the Day

"A woman's heart is as tender, vulnerable and fragile as a man's balls. Don't break hers and she won't break yours."

"What's the best part about dating a Muslim The sex is explosive"

"What's a narcoleptics favorite game? Hide and go sleep."

"*Do not consume if seal is broken* I've just gone through this whole box of animal crackers and haven't found one seal."

"My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked."

"I bet if Wolf Blitzer interviewed ""The Situation"" in The Situation Room my TV would explode into a million pieces."

"What type music should you practice before doing something dangerous? Safety measures."

"I'm not normally a name-dropper but Tiger Woods asked me to start his car in the dream I just had."

"I'll see your Limerick. . I was driving along in my Bentley, tossing off ever so gently I hit a bump in the road and I shot my load not on purpose, but quite accidently!"

"If you cut down a hundred trees, you are not a lumberjack. But if you suck one dick, you are a cocksucker."