151047

Joke of the Day

"I bet if Wolf Blitzer interviewed ""The Situation"" in The Situation Room my TV would explode into a million pieces."

"Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too"

"What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hits were The Wall."

"What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything"

"What do you call a teenage cheese cracker? Chee-zits I made this up. *bows* Thank you, thank you...thank you so much."

"What do you call a fishermans newborn? Fresh bait"

"The say the job market isn't good for an English Major... ...but hey, at least you're still higher than a captain."

"TAYLOR SWIFT: I knew you were trouble when you walked in ME (wearing ski mask and holding up gun): what gave it away?"

"Yo moma is so old she knew the Great Wall of China when it was just ok"

"""If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly how did it fall off?"" Interviewer: I meant about the job. Me: Oh.... no I'm good."