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Joke of the Day

"I find it odd that my son's teacher would like to see him skip grade one without knowing how horribly he screwed up when doing our taxes."

"Dicks are like bullets Small calibers don't penetrate shit, and the exploding ones really fuck you up."

"Did you hear about the guy who got herpes in his eyebrows? He was looking for love in all the wrong places."

"My friend can't eat pizza because he's lactose intolerant It gives him pizzeria"

"What's a traffic cop's favorite kind of sweater? A pull over."

"I think I'm gonna become a solipsist, who's with me? Wait... no one's with me."

"What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? a tire."

"when I was little, I drugged the milk to catch Santa. Next morning I found my dad passed out on the stairs. Well played Santa.."

"My boss accused me of sticking my finger in his BD cake in the break room fridge, but he is completely wrong, it wasn't my finger."

"The biggest lie in advertising is someone taking a bite of a hard shell taco & it not immediately exploding in their hands."