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Joke of the Day

"My friend can't eat pizza because he's lactose intolerant It gives him pizzeria"

"If I had a dollar for every girl that didn't find me attractive... They'd eventually find me attractive.."

"I organised a 3 some last night. There were a couple of no shows but I still had a good time."

"Did you know there's an Alzhimers epidemic? I noticed it when I saw how many reposts make it to the front page."

"A joke I wrote in the style of Mitch Hedberg... I'm gonna change my name to 'marriage,' man. That way, all those girls out there can be saving themselves for *me*!"

"Which operetta make the Gorilla crack up? Nutty Marietta!"

"What does Bill Clinton say to Hillary Clinton after sex? I'll be home in 20 minutes."

"Officer: Soldier do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: Sure buddy. Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again. Soldier do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: No SIR!"

"Wait you *must* be the aunt I've heard soooo much about. The one who looks like Freddie Mercury and laughs like a jackal. Is this her honey?"

"What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk."