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Joke of the Day

"What's the name of Brendan Dassey's favorite band? The Yeah Yeah Yeahs."

"Went to the doctor the other day, he told me I had to stop masturbating... I asked him why and he said, ""Because I'm trying to examine you"""

"I taught myself to stop using filler words like ""um"" [weather channel in the background] ""Chance of rain today is 40%"" Better grab my brella"

"Teacher : What's happens to gold when it is exposed to the air ? Pupil : It's stolen !"

"How does the KKK celebrate gay pride? With a LGBBQ."

"What does a girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity? ""Careful, dad, or you'll crush my smokes."""

"What's a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer? Comet."

"Screw you, Burger King, if you really wanted me to have it ""MY way"" you'd have added alcohol to your menu."

"[packing for holiday] WIFE: U don't have to only put suits in a suitcase ME: [putting underwear in briefcase] I don't make the rules Karen"

"Last night my wife started calling me Jeb Bush. I also pull out way to late."