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Joke of the Day

"Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells? Because B-shells are too small, and D-shells are too big."

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"What kind of deoderant did the nazis wear? Reich Guard"
"So I bought some shoes off my drug dealer. And I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."
"A Scotsman, an Essex girl and an alien walk into a bar... The landlord looks up and says, ""What the hell is this? Some kind of a joke?"""
"What do you get if you shoot a Mexican golfer? A hole in Juan."
"What's the difference between a boomerang and my father? the boomerang came back ='("
"Did you hear about the new heated children's gloves that would turn on and off without warning? They worked inter-mitten-ly"
"My boss wants to take me to lunch... I ask him, ""Where do you want to go? Are burgers cool?"" He said, ""I'll eat pretty much anything, except for fish."" I reply, ""Your poor wife"""
"What happened to the guy who ingested lead? It wasn't the lead that killed him, but rather the element of surprise."
"There's a special place in he'll for autocorrect"