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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] I've been 1 week in college and already had five times the sex I had in 3 years of highschool. 5x0=0"

"What's the difference between men and women? Actually, there is a vas deferens between the two genders."

"Beheaded our snowman to let winter know we mean business."

"Don't worry, everyone else is as confused as you, I swear."

"Just finished reading a book on Stockholm Syndrome. I really didn't like the first couple of chapters, but by the end I loved it."

"I want a real relationship; not a Facebook one"

"Waiter: Why are you taking so long to order? Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea."

"How do you feel when there is no coffee? Depresso"

"The Boy Scouts came up with the strongest knot in the world... You just leave a pair of earbuds in your pocket while you're hiking."

"2 out of 3 isn't bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids. Then it's bad"