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Joke of the Day

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It may take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid by this chick."

"Computing Pirates What's a pirate's favorite computer language? Aye, you'd think it was R, but tis the C"

"[tattoo parlour] ME: I'd like a tattoo as a tribute to my dad. He loved gardening & now he's dead, so maybe like a skeleton mowing the lawn?"

"What do Canadian girls have? Boobehs"

"""Where do you see yourself in five years?"" In 2020."

"What insect lives on nothing? Moths, because they eat holes."

"Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport? Because he was Snowden."

"What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? The slow swimmer"

"I got fired from my job as a massage therapist My boss said I rubbed people the wrong way."

"If she says ""I'm fine"" that means she's fine and you can keep playing Xbox"