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Joke of the Day
"Two in one people are Siamese."
Next Joke
"Why isn't there a roomba that cuts grass? Probably some stupid law about sending a blade wielding robot out into the neighborhood."
"Reminder: Please just hit the ""RT"" button on my tweets if you're ugly. Don't want people associating your busted face with my art."
"I don't like drug tests... They're not my cup of pee."
"What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? a tire."
"My GPS stopped working this morning and I'm going to the mall to get a new one I really hope someone with a TomTom left their car unlocked"
"I did a survey and asked 5 women what kind of clothing brand they preferred. The 5 responded: ""How the hell did you get into my house?"""
"I don't bring pooper scoopers when I walk my dog I would, but my dog doesn't give a shit"
"I just invented a new word. 'Plagiarism'"
"How do you tell a crazy Jew that it's all in his head? ""It's psychosemitic"""