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Joke of the Day

"Siri's on her period. she needs an iPad"

"I once went five years without having sex then I turned six and my uncle raped me"

"Fun prank: ONLY explain gay marriage to your kids and then watch other people try to explain their weird straight marriages."

"Why did the owl 'owl? Because the woodpecker would peck 'er."

"Why is it so hard for an eighty year old woman to pee in the morning? Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?!"

"Gee this couple posted so many selfies during their trip. They must've had a great time proving us they had a great time."

"""Mom?"" ""Yes?"" ""Are we having seafood for dinner?"" ""No, why?"" ""I heard Dad on the phone."" ""And?"" ""He said that he picked up a case of crabs."""

"What does the German wheat farmer say to his wife in the morning? Gluten Morgen!"

"What's the difference between a midget and a dwarf? Very little!"

"A missionary came to my door asking if I could help with the floods in India. I said sure, but my garden hose only reaches to the end of the driveway."