150986
Joke of the Day
"What does the German wheat farmer say to his wife in the morning? Gluten Morgen!"
Next Joke
"I finally met Miss Right! It wasn't until we were married that I found out her first name is Always."
"My neverending quest in life is to evenutally find the stupid lid to this damn Tupperware bowl."
"What do we want? FLEXIBLE WORK SCHEDULES THAT ACCOMMODATE FAMILY LIFE! When do we want it? [Unintelligible yelling of different dates]"
"[sees girl reading To Kill A Mockingbird] ""Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] kills all those frickin birds."""
"There's a man walking a tight rope. 100ft below him there's a man getting a blowjob from an 80 year old woman. What are they both thinking? Don't look down."
"Eric Clapton's son was a prolific writer by the age of 4 and a half... He did 49 stories in 7 seconds."
"I'll never forget what my grandfather said to me right before he kicked the bucket. ""Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""
"When i was a Kid my dad would beat me with a camera. I still have flashbacks."
"When punching a toddler, how hard is too hard? Calm down... I'm not talking about MY kid. I know how hard to punch her. I'm her mother."