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Joke of the Day

"Why is it so hard for an eighty year old woman to pee in the morning? Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?!"

"I saw Adele at the train station the other day on the other platform She said 'hello from the other side'"

"My daughter told me she wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don't think she'd be a good secret agent."

"""No Karen I don't want to see pics of your ugly kids & stupid cats"" or as I usually say: ""Awww how cute"""

"Why did the vegetable band break up? They couldn't keep the beet."

"I spend 90% of my time online waiting for password reset emails"

"Did anyone lose a roll of twenties wrapped in a rubberband? I found the rubberband!"

"I don't know what NBC showed last night.. But it must have been awesome, everyone is sporting their colors now."

"Whats a Joke with no Punchline? Life"

"""God damn it son. I'm not made out of honey!"" - Father bee to son bee."