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Joke of the Day

"My wife said that to make our marriage work, we both need to make sacrifices. I've chosen a goat."

"What do you say if your mom sees you having sex? You say: Look mom, no hands!"

"Why are women's feet smaller than men's? So they can stand closer to the sink."

"A fun thing about having kids is how they ask for help with their homework. On the way to school."

"What is the difference between a diameter and a radius? A radius"

"It looks like trees are all flamboyantly coming out of the closet before they die for the winter"

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, because they're both suck up bitches."

"Ready for battle, I taunted Monday and spit in its face, but when I woke up from my drunken haze, I realized I'd been yelling at Sunday."

"A good friend doesn't just make you smile, they make you happy."

"Did you hear that Tropicana funded the Nazi campaign? They made Jews from concentrate."