191846

Joke of the Day

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, because they're both suck up bitches."

"I phoned the local gym... and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'"

"Sometimes it seems like I'm married to my own liver I only abuse it when I'm drinking"

"A racist, a womanizer, and a rapist walked into a bar... ...the bartender says ""how may I help you, Mr. President?"""

"Why do chicken coups only have 2 doors? Because if they had 4 doors they would be chicken sedans."

"What's Hillary Clinton's favorite Christmas carol? Depends, what is yours?"

"How much did the skeleton charge for his excellent legal services? An arm and a leg."

"It's ironic that my dentist appointment is at 2:30 tomorrow. Because tooth hurty."

"I'd make a joke about Jonestown... But the punch line is too long."

"10 yr old brother put a twist on this joke I saw awhile back. Why do the Irish serve up their chili with 139 beans? Because one more would be one-farty bowl of chili!"