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Joke of the Day

"Eighteen is too young to get married. You can't even buy alcohol. If you can't drink, how are you going to make your marriage work?"

"Nice try, St. Patrick's Day, but I don't need a reason to drink."

"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator Only a fraction of you will find this funny"

"Cop: do you know why I pulled u over? Me: yeah, I was going like 120 back there Cop:.... Me:.. Cop: sir, your tailamp is out Me:..."

"I used to have a bird called ""Stockholm syndrome"" who lived on my shoulder. I used to hate the bastard, but in the end, he grew on me."

"What is small furry and smells like bacon? A hamster."

"Why does Santa have a huge sack? Because he only comes once a year."

"What does a can of tuna say? Premium flaked tuna Best before dd/mm/yy"

"[making small talk at a business function] ""You're 35 aren't you?"" ""No, I'm 38"" ""Oh right"" [long silence] ""Did you used to be 35?"""

"['90s] I just got a new computer. It's called ""The Tyson."" It comes with two bytes and no memory."