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Joke of the Day

"What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking after a house fire :)."

"Thanks for putting out Mom! ~ everyone. Happy Mother's Day!"

"How many people from Svalbard does it take to change a light-bulb? Light? What's that?"

"A black guy and a white guy were playing basketball in a jail. The black guy won. Do you want to know why? The black guy had home advantage. IM NOT A RACIST, PLS SENPAIS"

"Why don't old men like old women? Ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"I literally never cry, so my body makes up for it by leaking out of different places. My doctor says it's called ""peeing"" what a dumb idiot."

"Vanna White's birthday is today... Pretty soon she'll be getting to the age where she has trouble with her vowel movements."

"Sorry I went down on your moms sister at your BBQ... I guess you could say I'm... [lowers shades] An aunt-eater."

"When I was growing up I never knew what I wanted to be, now that I'm older I know that it's younger."

"One time I was holding this little girl's hand walking through the woods at night. She said: ""I'm scared!"" I said:"" Well then how do you think I feel? I gotta walk back alone!"""