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Joke of the Day

"Thanks for putting out Mom! ~ everyone. Happy Mother's Day!"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Again with the victim blaming, jerk? Don't tell us to change the lightbulb, tell the lightbulb to not need changing."

"You really are the cat's pajamas, and by that I mean you're a stupid idea."

"My girlfriend is like Pi. Completely irrational."

"What is the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather....kinky is using the whole chicken."

"Did I tell you about my attempt to grow bananas in sand? It was fruitless."

"I can't believe I shaved my toes for this"

"It's not the amount of followers young GRASSHOPPER. It's the quality of followers."

"Q: How does a blind skydiver know the ground is near? A: The leash goes slack."

"Me: (Sigh) There she is. Him: Sounds like you're still carrying a torch for her. Me: Yea, like the villagers carried one for Frankenstein!"