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Joke of the Day

"Thanks for putting out Mom! ~ everyone. Happy Mother's Day!"

"Why do chicken coops only have two doors? (x-post from /r/adviceanimals) Because if they had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!"

"Different ways to say ""NO"": German: Nein Russian: Niej Arabic: La Women: Yes, but ..."

"How do you make a moth bawl? Hit him with a fly swatter."

"Do you know the difference between a mailbox and an elephant's asshole? No? Remind me not to give you a letter to mail."

"What does God do whenever he gets frustrated with Jesus? He gets out the Bible Belt!"

"I would request a last meal of soda and pop rocks so I could die on my own terms."

"What did Hillary Clinton say at the last debate? Nothing...because she was in the kitchen where she belongs."

"Generally, the phrases ""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologise"" are used synonymously... But not at a funeral."

"I'll sell my broken watch when the time is right."