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Joke of the Day

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee? Cus he drank it before it was cool."

"Jesus: Go forth. You are now fishers of men. Peter: *harpoons a guy* Jesus: Too literal, bro."

"True story I was listing all the TV shows I like to a friend. When I got to ""Psych"", he thought I was just kidding about all the previous shows."

"I thought I felt a spider crawling on my neck. Now I have to pretend I was breakdancing at this bank."

"What does Mike Tyson eat after a long time on twitter? Tweets of course! ....and then your family."

"So I tried to enter ""penis"" as my new e-mail password... But my computer said it was too short."

"What do you call a charming tool? A rake"

"-Boss: ""Send me one of your funny tweets"" -Me: ""I'm working at the moment, I'll send you one later"" -Boss: ""Hahaha! Send me another one."""

"What do you call a Star wars fan in an attic? Annakin Frank"

"Knock...Knock... Who's there? Interrupting cat... Int(meow)err(meow)upt(meow)ing(meow)(meow)c(meow)at(meow)who? Meow..."