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Joke of the Day

"One of my ""100 things to do before you die"" would definitely be ""call an ambulance""."

"How many Chauvinists does it take to Change a Lightbulb? None, because chauvinists can't change anything."

"Chuck Norris was banned from competing in the National Karate Championship. Everyone he competed with the year before ended up in the Special Olympics."

"Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, ""I don't think you're supposed call people that any more."""

"Been backed up for days, but finally took a huge shit... it was quite a load off my mind."

"I fucked a fat woman in an elevator.. It was wrong on so many levels"

"A Doctor and patient Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine""."

"I was so close to a threesome last night... I was only missing 2 people"

"why did both ass-cheeks get fired from work? One was always left behind causing the other to half-ass everything"

"what did the leper say to the prostitute? You can keep the tip."