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Joke of the Day

"One of my ""100 things to do before you die"" would definitely be ""call an ambulance""."

"Religions are like farts... Everyone likes their own but thinks all the others stink."

"What do you call a Muslim ganglord with a penchant for Noodles? Ramendon"

"If a recipe does not call for cheese, I'm gonna assume they forgot it and add an entire large bag. Well 3/4 of bag cause I ate some of it."

"I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. ""Something that buzzes and is guaranteed to drive me crazy"" she replied. So I bought her a pet mosquito."

"Why doesn't Superman like the Mummy? Because the Mummy's always saying, ""I'll be in the crypt tonight."""

"If bank website ads have taught me anything it's that white people love drinking coffee as they pay bills online in an empty loft apartment."

"Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won't freeze ? Pupil: Hot water !"

"- ""I love Beyonce... - Whatever floats your boat mate. - No, you're thinking of 'buoyancy'. - ..."""

"The Chinese stock market... >Is the safest market in the world, the most transparent market, the least fluctuating market, the most democratic market."