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Joke of the Day

"If a recipe does not call for cheese, I'm gonna assume they forgot it and add an entire large bag. Well 3/4 of bag cause I ate some of it."

"What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date? Patient."

"My dick is so big I have to wear a back brace when I masturbate."

"Why do Marxists drink herbal tea? Because all proper tea is theft."

"Not sure if this girl I'm talking to online is real, so on our first date I'm gonna bring an image captcha for her to solve."

"What do you get when you cross dessert with a monkey? A Meringueutan"

"What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhino? A visit from the university board of ethics."

"Maybe Offensive to jews. You have been warned.(NSFW?) Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? One doesnt scream in the oven."

"What do you call a theatrical performance about puns? A play on words"

"I told my kids ""I slept like a baby last night, Woke up at 1am and fussed until your mom stuck a boob in my mouth."""