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Joke of the Day

"I had an asthma attack while walking to work today... Even I didn't believe it when 3 asthmatics jumped out of a bush and started hitting me."

"Jesus tells Peter, ""Come forth and you shall have eternal glory!"" Peter came in fifth and won a toaster."

"You're Like The End Of The Bread... Everybody touches you, but nobody wants you."

"Why was the landlord seeing a psychiatrist? He had an apartment complex."

"Nintendo just announced the first haunted tower for Pokemon GO The New World Trade Center"

"Who was the best boxer of all time? Jim Jones. He knocked out 909 people with one punch."

"LIKE if you remember what it was like to take a ton of pictures only to wait a week to find out they were useless."

"THE BREAKFAST CLUB (1985): Five white heterosexual suburban American 17-year-olds manage to find common ground."

"If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib!"

"The moon landings looked more realistic than Hillary's rally last week. And those were faked with 1960s technology."