31252

Joke of the Day

"The moon landings looked more realistic than Hillary's rally last week. And those were faked with 1960s technology."

"Q: What does a blonde and a turtle have in common? A: If either one of them end up on there back they are both f*cked."

"What did the man say to his big breasted ex-wife? Thanks for the mammaries."

"What do you call a gay vampire? A fruit bat."

"Jack Daniels couldn't be here today, But he's here in spirit."

"I was absolutely disgusted when a gay guy came on to me at the bar. After kicking his ass out the door, I went for a towel to clean it off."

"What is DJ Khaled's Favorite Number? 11 because it has another one"

"Two guys stole a calendar They both got six months"

"My body is telling me to go to sleep but my brain knows that there are Oreos in the pantry."

"I saw a woman suffering cardiac arrest earlier... She asked for me to call her an ambulance. I did, but I think she should've asked for help instead."