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Joke of the Day
"Who was the best boxer of all time? Jim Jones. He knocked out 909 people with one punch."
Next Joke
"While shopping, look for this marker on where the gluten free aisle is at. You'll see a man with a gun to his mouth. Because, you know, bullets are gluten free."
"When Jesus Makes Tea... Hebrews"
"if you write something and include a ""tl;dr"" version that just means you're shitty at keeping peoples attention with your awful writing"
"Three men in a boat with four cigarettes and no matches. How do they get to smoke their cigarettes? They throw one cigarette overboard, which make the boat a cigarette lighter."
"*a dripping wet Kurt Cobain stumbles out of his garage* ""OK WHO REPLACED MY GUN WITH A SUPERSOAKER"""
"religious? why yes i'm very religious, i'm always reading [glances at bible] the beeblay"
"Uncle Robert was talking to his nephew Jimmy ""Uncle Bobby, how did you become my uncle?"" ""Well Jimmy, your parents went wham-bam and now Bob's your uncle."""
"So I finally got around to watching the Twin Tower attacks. 9/11 would watch again."
"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil."