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Joke of the Day
"Who was the best boxer of all time? Jim Jones. He knocked out 909 people with one punch."
Next Joke
"[on date] ME: I'll have a steak WAITER: How would u like that cooked? ME: Uhh with fire or some kind of heat? *rolls eyes at date*"
"I wipe my ass like I drive... Only stop on red"
"Sinead O'Connor has gone missing whilst going out on a bike ride. I'll start to get worried when it's been seven hours and fifteen days"
"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong socks before I went for a walk."
"Why hasn't there been a coup in the United States? Because they don't have a US Embassy."
"Call me maybe by Carly Rae Jepson is possibly the catchiest song I've ever heard lol"
"If you screwed up something in a science lab, who do you tell? **Not** Neil deGrasse cause he will grass on you!"
"Looks like balls = Scrotesque."
"Dios mios! A: You shouldn't say the lord's name in vain! B: I'm not saying it in vain... I'm saying it in Spanish!"