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Joke of the Day

"""Oh love what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?"" she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes. ""I don't know but I promise I'll never do it again."""

"I wish Kristen from finance would tell us her husband was an ""attorney"" one more time so I could feel better about shitting in her purse."

"Still don't know what I did wrong. My girlfriend was happy when I brought her home a bouquet of flowers. Her mood changed when I told her I found them by a lamp post."

"Let's spend the rest of our next 5 to 7 years together."

"I once threw an abstinence party... And no one came. Edit: grammar."

"Sex. Don't get it? good, you never will."

"What do you call a Viking pop band with a big gay following? The Pillage People."

"Isn't it ironic that to be popular on social networks, you have to sacrifice your social life."

"What do necrophiliacs get at funerals? Mourning wood."

"What do you call cows with no sense of humor? Feminists"