75601

Joke of the Day

"""Oh love what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?"" she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes. ""I don't know but I promise I'll never do it again."""

"I tried explaining to someone why smoking weed is bad for you. To be blunt, I don't think they were paying much attention."

"Why did the pharoah go to the dentist? Because egypt his tooth."

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? a gummy bear"

"Sailors really want to be cool. But they're just naut."

"Someone hired a sloth with a knife to murder me, he's in my driveway, so I have 6-8 months to live"

"From now on when skinny girls say they're fat I'm just gonna be like, ""Yup"" & walk away."

"Pedophiles have kind of a bad reputation... ...but they drive slow near schools"

"How to cure affluenza? Introduce him to Warhammer."

"Any time I wonder if God exists, I think of women & I know he does. Coincidentally, this is also what I do when I wonder if the devil exists."