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Joke of the Day

"Was driving with my dad the other day and he told me to get the map out of the glove box. Easy there Indiana Jones, I will just google it."

"Some pretzels are totally weird... They're knot for eating."

"What kind of country do we live in when an artist like Sia won't take advantage of the freedom to change her last name to Lateralligator?"

"How do Chinese name their kids? They throw silverware on the ground!"

"Why don't lesbians cook? They rather eat out."

"So I was at the Library today .. And a black Gentleman came over to me and asked where the coloured printer was. I replied ""Man its 2016 you can use any printer!"""

"I once had a selfie with Dwayne Johnson at the Alcatraz Island (during an SF City Tour)... Now I know what it feels to be stucked between The Rock and A Hard Place..."

"I want to ask you out, but I've got butterflies in my stomach. And worms. And maggots. And.."

"Nurse pops her head into the doctor's office..... Nurse: 'Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.' Doctor: 'Tell him I can't see him.'"

"Harambe walks into a bar Bartender: What will you be drinking? Harambe: I'll have a beer Me: No, he'll have just ice Bartender: Just ice? Me: Yes. Justice for Harambe."