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Joke of the Day

"A man walked into a psychiatrist's office wearing only saran warp... The psychiatrist said, ""I can clearly see your nuts!"""

"What's the difference between virgin olive oil and regular olive oil? Popeye's penis"

"Snape: ""I think the Dark Lord has returned."" Potter: ""Are you serious?"" Snape: ""No, I'm Severus."""

"Show me on this Russian nesting doll where the bad man hid many more, smaller versions of you"

"What's better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded."

"Why can't you trust a Lithium Ion battery? Because they're always Li-ion!"

"A woman is out fishing with her husband... As she's sitting in the boat, she asks ""Honey, do you have any more of those little floatey bobber thingies? Mine keep sinking."""

"At a First Date Conversation At a first date: He: ""I work with animals every day!"" She: ""Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"" He: ""I'm a butcher."""

"My exes broke up with me because I'm a pot lover. I guess you can say they don't have high standards."

"My brother was convicted as an accessory to murder Dad always said he'd accomplice something."