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Joke of the Day

"ISIS new way of recruitment ISIS leader posted a job offer for new workers : "" Need somebody with a head on his shoulders """

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"I named my phone ""The Titanic...."" So when I plug it in to charge it says, ""The Titanic is syncing"""
"My kids are always accusing me of having a ""favorite child"" which is ridiculous because I don't really like any of them."
"Told this girl to text me when she got home.... I think she homeless. ----- I don't own this and I take no credit."
"High School French In high school, I was in the French Club. All we would ever do is surrender to the German Club."
"I have a Love/hate relationship with slashes..."
"Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper? He sold his soul to santa"
"Why was the Router released early from prison? It had connections."
"I have literally never seen a mattress store with customers in it"
"What did the pink panther say as he skipped down the sidewalk? Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnt, deaaad ant."
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