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Joke of the Day

"If you met an eel in a top hat... ...that would be Sir Eel. (say it out loud)"

"There are 70 ways to make a man happy... One is booze and the other is 69."

"Two men walk into a bar...... ...the third sees this and ducks."

"If you want to be remembered when you die... Borrow money from everyone you know"

"Are u alright? No I'm half left"

"Sun Tzu's The Art of War is very applicable in the business world. Just today I made my boss sit facing the window so he had sun in his eyes"

"Did you hear about the problem in Pakistan where smoking a scorpion gets you high? Well only the men get high, the women get stoned"

"I lost 20 pounds in England last summer. How much is that in American dollars?"

"What do you get when you mix T and C? Angry British people!"

"What do you call a man with a blood-covered axe with necklaces made of fingers running towards you? Why the fuck are you still thinking what to call him? Run and get the cops!"