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Joke of the Day

"Masturbation is like procrastination It feels good when you're doing it, but afterwards, you realized you fucked yourself"

"America is kind of like testicles If the right nut can't agree with the left nut. We can't produce."

"Brain: He mentioned marriage again. You know what to do. *sets phone on fire*"

"[doctor hands wife urn] Ma'am, I'm afraid your husband didn't make it. ""Nooo!"" she cries. Oh, he's fine. But he didn't make this lovely urn."

"Using my toes to pick something up makes it hard to go to church on Sunday."

"I've been happily married for four years -out of a total of 10."

"A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face. Edit: Come on! It s a joke, don t get butt hurt! And yes, I spelled woman wrong, who cares?"

"Why did Beyonce sing ""to the left, to the left"" ? Because she knew Niggas have no right."

"What did the bun say to the hot dog? I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!"

"I like my sex like I like my tree forts No girls allowed"