7301
Joke of the Day
"Brain: He mentioned marriage again. You know what to do. *sets phone on fire*"
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the airplane that crashed into a cemetery? They recovered 12,000 bodies."
"How does an Alabama girl know she's in for a crazy night? Her daddy says he wants her in bed by ten."
"4-year-old: *puts on ballerina dress* *puts on ballerina shoes* *puts on ballerina tiara* Me: Who are you supposed to be? 4: A ninja."
"I'm only watching the royal wedding for the bishop. I've always wanted to see a person who only moves diagonally."
"Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint"
"After 1am you can sit back and relax because the bad decisions pretty much make themselves."
"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity It's impossible to put down"
"Just bought some local farm-fresh free-range artisanal organic grass-fed hormone-free something or other that makes me better than you."
"Whooooaaaa, I'm halfway therrreee WHOOOAAAA, LOSING ALL MY HAIRRRR Take this wig, we'll fake it I swearrrrr WHOAOHH, LOSING ALL MY HAIRRR"