187775

Joke of the Day

"Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to tell me. I guess that's why he lost his job in disaster relief."

"I pick up hitchhikers cause then when I'm pulled over the weed is his."

"Ever feel a little ""too"" relaxed? Is your day going ""pretty ok""? Are you enjoying doing a thing? Introducing ""Panic Attacks"" Panic AttacksTM"

"Me: I didn't get the job. Wife: Why not? M: Something about my eyesight. W: What EXACTLY did they say? M: That I needed 'adult supervision'."

"WARNING: Big Spoiler Inside! http://www.dswens.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/P1130541.jpg"

"All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one."

"What can bring The Beatles back together? Two more bullets."

"When I was younger, I was kicked out of the Boy Scouts I ate a Brownie."

"The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That's 15 minutes, right? I'm not reading too much into it?"

"I've recently developed a severe phobia of elevators. I'm taking steps to avoid them."