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Joke of the Day

"Ever feel a little ""too"" relaxed? Is your day going ""pretty ok""? Are you enjoying doing a thing? Introducing ""Panic Attacks"" Panic AttacksTM"

"It's my birthday, so here's a related joke. Why are birthdays good for you? - - - - - Statistics show: those who have the most, live the longest."

"I hate it when people ask me where I'll be in five years. Come on folks, I'm not going to live that long."

"My room isn't dirty, I just have everything on display like a museum."

"Do you know how you can tell your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"Why was simba grounded? Because he was lion! Please. Please kill me.."

"Damn autocorrect... It's always making me say things I didn't Nintendo"

"Yes, it might be the wrong word but at least it is spelled correctly - autocorrect"

"I dreamed... I dreamed I was a muffler and I woke up exhausted."

"What is a Nazi baker's secret ingredient? White Flour!"