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Joke of the Day

"Want to know if you're in the wrong relationship? If you were reading this hoping I really had the answer, it's over. You're welcome."

"All these illegal immigrants...(xpost) ...have crossed the line!"

"They say Kim Jong Un is heartless and a murder... It's because he has no Seoul"

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one, but it takes a very long time and the light bulb has to really want to change."

"Q: What's the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one."

"If you only had 1% battery left on your phone, what would you tweet? Because clearly we'd still tweet."

"If there's a pistachio that's difficult to open, I'll just move right on to another because life is short and so is my god damn temper"

"What does John F. Kennedy have in common with the current Democratic Party? No brains"

"Why are so many computer scientists atheists? Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail."

"How do you keep a Turkey in suspense? I'll tell you later."