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Joke of the Day

"Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person ""Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened."" -Adolf Hitler, 1945"

"Damn girl you must be the American spelling of 'favourite' because I don't need u"

"TV needs to stop putting up those stupid ""viewer discretion"" warnings. My mom is sick of me calling her for clearance."

"What's the same as an ocean rabbit? A C-hair!"

"Dear Lord, if my happiness bothers some people, please give them their own happiness so they won't bother hating on mine."

"How can you tell Oriental Dynasties are obese? Because they have hundreds of Qins"

"Looking for a flexible babysitter. My girlfriend only does missionary."

"I am ""cool"" and ""chill"" and ""stuck inside the walk in freezer."""

"What goes ""Pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop click-click-click-click-click-click pop-click""? A stuttering South African tribesman."

"What would a porno be like? Lots of clicking and snapping?"