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Joke of the Day
"Looking for a flexible babysitter. My girlfriend only does missionary."
Next Joke
"Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids... ... ...Eat them!"
"How you heard about the new bad breath removal strategy? They call it the tic-tac tactic."
"If you find yourself in conversation with a stutterer, it is best to shout out ""Reeeeeemix"" and scratch at invisible turntables."
"What's the best nation in the world? Donation. What's the best city in the world? Generosity."
"A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar... He sits down and orders a drink."
"If your drug dealer answers your call on the first ring .... he's a cop."
"I offered my Muslim girlfriend a bite of my gorilla sandwich but she shook her head and said... ""That's haram, bae."""
"If you suddenly realize it's 3pm and you've gotten nothing accomplished, it's OK to go back to bed."
"Pretty sure the ""FINISH HIM"" guy from Mortal Kombat is giving relationship advice to every girl I date."