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Joke of the Day

"TV needs to stop putting up those stupid ""viewer discretion"" warnings. My mom is sick of me calling her for clearance."

"Just saw a bundt so big and beautiful I changed my sexual orientation to cake."

"What is west saharan favourite number? Data not avalible."

"Parents yelling ""I'm not going to ask you again"" at their kids, will definitely be asking them again"

"4: can you whistle? M: *whistles* 4: Here's a booger. M:... 4: Keep it forever. Have kids they said. It'll be fun they said. Liars."

"We are never going to defeat the Decepticons, they are too good. I mean Bumblebee can't even talk! ~Pessimist Prime."

"PIGEON MAGICIAN: I want you to pick a car, any car...DONT TELL ME!. Ok [shits on windscreen] is THIS the car you chose?"

"Cashier: Hello Me: Is it me your looking for... I can see it in your eyes.. Cashier:... Me: Sorry, this is my first rap battle."

"Many people think that Canada's new Prime Minister is hot. It's true, though."

"A Muslim extremist, a Democrat, and Hillary supporter walk into a bar.... 49 people die, 53 more are injured"