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Joke of the Day
"Went to McDonald's and ordered a Happy Meal .... didn't work ... still grumpy."
Next Joke
"The Chinese New Year is almost here. I know they're in another time zone, but 2 months behind seems a little extreme."
"Friend asked me a personal question: Do I ever stick it in my girlfriend's... you know... her other hole? Ew no, she might get pregnant that way."
"5/6 people agree... ...that Russian Roulette is a great way to gamble."
"I told him I like a big vocabulary and now he won't stop using 72pt font."
"When a clock is hungry... it goes back four seconds."
"My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels."
"Would you guys buy Apple's new product for lumberjacks? iWood."
"""Oh great! Just great!"" --guy showing up to the beach with a bunch of sand"
"Where does Noah store his bees? The ark-hives."