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Joke of the Day

"Shakespeare & The Beatles walk into a pub... ...Landlord says, ""sorry mate, you're barred and those guys are banned""."

"My wife keeps complaining about her nine to five job... I must admit, 4:51 is a strange time to start work."

"What do you call a little Mexican? A paragraph, because he's not quite an essay."

"*Walking with wife listening to Dust In The Wind* Me: This is our song. *A dude walks by listening to it* Me: That's OUR song! GIVE IT BACK!"

"How many ears does Spock have? A right ear, a left ear, and the final front ear."

"I once met a girl with twelve boobs. Sounds fake, dozen tit?"

"An assistant to a company's offices in Karnataka found the title on his business card embarrassingly abbreviated. ""Mysore Ass."""

"What do you call riot police in Germany? Kraut Control"

"What is Cersei Lannister's favorite American city? Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love."

"I won a waterfight with the local kids at the park. No ones a match for me and my kettle!"