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Joke of the Day

"I named my dog Shark to make him sound tough... For some reason, people go into a panic when he runs off on the beach."

Next Joke
 
"Dog: WHAT IF I'M HERE ALONE FOREVER Dog 911: WHAT WILL U EAT Dog: probably eat the cat LOL Dog 911: LOL"
"if ur in a bad mood & somone says ""have a good day"" the best response is to yell ""HEY EVRYONE THIS DUDES HANDING OUT GOOD DAYS COME GET ONE"""
"Damn girl, are you bubble wrap? Because you're fun to run over with my bike"
"""You gotta try the lobs-"" - I'll should tell you... ""Yes?"" - We're not having sex. ""OK."" - What were you saying? ""The chicken here's great."""
"TIL that DNA originally stood for National Dyslexic Association"
"That awkward moment when you realize that the nursery rhyme never said that Humpty Dumpty was an egg..."
"TIL Micheal Bay's 'Pearl Harbour' made almost $ 200 million... ...I thought that it bombed! [re-worded Greg Proops joke from DLM]"
"When I was born I was given the choice between a big dick or a good memory. I don't remember what I chose."
"Why does Hillary Clinton want to have sex with Bill first thing in the morning? She wants to be the first lady."