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Joke of the Day
"""We don't serve time travelers..!"" A time traveler walks into a bar"
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"What's the difference between lust, love, and just plain showing off? Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling."
"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin' Catholic"
"Why did the coach go to Aldi? To get his quarterback."
"My girlfriend's a bouncer I only found out because I saw her fall out of a window."
"If you're getting annoyed, you might throw up your hands out of frustration. If you're a cannibal, you might throw up someone else's hands out of your stomach."
"Business idea: Own a profitable business"
"Hey can I call you back in like 6 weeks?"
"It's a good thing my new Thai girlfriend doesn't have an issue with small penises. I just wish she didnt have one."
"If kittens tasted like pizza I would totally be a cat person."