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Joke of the Day

"Women's magazines: Page 5: accept yourself for who you are Page 8: how to lose 10lbs in 1 week Page 12: best cake recipe"

"I'm not that smart... and have no clue as to what any word means when it has more then two syllables. How will I ever shave?"

"5 out of 4 people don't get jokes about fractions."

"My grandmother was just diagnosed with Parkinson's disease She looks pretty shaken up about it"

"I'm not an expert on masturbation, but I hold my own."

"Why do scientists love watching dog shows? They appreciate good lab skills"

"I told god a Holocaust joke. He didn't laugh. after a moment of awkward silence, I said: ""Well I guess you should have been there""."

"What does a girls asshole and a 9v battery have in common? You know it's wrong but eventually you stick your tongue to it."

"Tourist: The flies are awfully thick around here. Don't you ever shoo them? Native: No we just let them go barefoot."

"If you ever get in a knife fight with a group of clowns Go for the juggler"