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Joke of the Day

"Knock, Knock. > Who's there? > The secret of Comedy. > The secret of Co.. > (interrupting) TIMING!"

"Amish murderers get the acoustic chair."

"If we both go for the last slice of apple pie at the same time, I will bury my fork in your throat."

"My uncle, as an oncologist.... ... has a great sense of tumor."

"I saw two WNBA tickets nailed to a fence today It's my lucky day! Free nails."

"I went to the air and space museum this past weekend I didn't see anything, so I left"

"""Last call for flight 254"" [Runs to gate] ""You barely made it"" [out of breath] This isnt my flight. I just wanted to tell you I'm a vegan"

"If our feet had mouths then they'd be walkie talkies."

"Stop making history jokes!! They're getting old."

"Surprised to learn that famed pornography company American Apparel has entered the clothing business."