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Joke of the Day

"I'm sick of people saying, ""Its political correctness gone mad!"" That's offensive. You should say ""Its political correctness gone mentally ill""."

"[Turing Test] Tester: Let's start with an easy one, the square root of 29241? Subject: 171! Tester: Subject: I meant, idk math is hard. lol"

"I decided to watch The Conjuring alone in a dark apartment and now I'm not allowed to make my own decisions anymore."

"What does it mean when you sit next to an elderly woman on the bus and she shakes her head and makes the sign of the cross?"

"I exercise at the gym because I can't exercise restraint when it comes to everything that's bad for me."

"Kids having the best time ever sound exactly the same as kids being axe-murdered."

"Last time I used my phone was to call someone upstairs in my house b/c getting up is hard & I'm not trying to win the Olympics."

"It's crazy how sexist the postal service is. I guess that's natural with such a mail dominated industry."

"Whats yellow and blue and has a tight ass at one end? A Lidl's carrier bag."

"I make the McDonald's guy eat a McDouble with me like when people buy shots for the bartender"